Warning: Graphic, repulsive photos (Why I haven't been doing manicures for a while)

Come back! I do not have a fungal infection.
My cute dolphin-head soap dish had broken and, being rather bored with a tummy upset, I decided to epoxy the soap dish together. Sadly - and predictably for me - I got a tube of araldite all over my fingers, part of my palms, even under my nails, all within seconds. It hardened and didn't budge even when I picked at it. We have tried Dettol, Vaseline, ice, iced water, nail polish remover without acetone, pure acetone, oil, sudocrem, a myriad moisturisers and turpentine and this is what it looks like now - only 5% remains. Earlier this week, it looked like I had thrush all over my hands, along with a bad allergic rash.
On the other hand, now is the time to change careers to burglary, if I were so inclined. They'll never be able to get my fingerprints. And, I'm right-handed, so it hasn't affected my life much. Stay tuned for the next mad thing I do. 

P.S. The soap dish is happily unaffected and remains broken.